Since the beginning of time (or at least since the beginnings of capitalism and the use of money), the assumption that men should always be the ones to pay for the date have persisted even to modern times. However, it’s an assumption that, upon observation in modern times, might strike some as sexist and even demeaning. In which case, it’s definitely a question worth asking. You definitely want to leave a horrid first impression on your date.
It’s pretty much the same for the guy – he might end up feeling annoyed she didn’t try to chip in, she might be slightly bothered that he didn’t let her pay in part. It’s an early financial crossroads that could be the determining factor for the second date. Here’s how to handle it:
Men: Offer To Take The Lead
For now, you should live with the assumption that she has the same mindset as you and offer to pay for the first tab. This is regardless of whether or not the male is the higher income earner of the duo, since it’s something both men and women in society have come to accept and live within the past.
What About The Women?
Going by a recent survey, almost 90% of women are offended if a guy doesn’t offer to pay the bill. It found that 63% of women expect the man to offer to pay the bill first, while another 39% of women interviewed, who had initially offered to pay for the bill had actually secretly hoped the man wouldn’t let him pay. Additionally, another 44% said they were annoyed when they were asked to help pay the bill. Sorry guys, the numbers don’t lie – just pick up the check and pay the bill.
Women, Don’t Get Offended
The tradition stems from the olden days when men paid for women’s food because, generally speaking, women didn’t have the means to do so themselves. However, you shouldn’t view this as the remains of the older days of society, an act of oppression on women. Of course, things have changed a lot since then, but you should understand that he’s not trying to offend you and certainly doesn’t approve of female oppression. He’s just practicing what’s considered by society as polite and is instinctively appropriate at the moment.
Isn’t There Any Way Out Of It?
Nice try, gents, but there’s no running away from it for the fellas. However, for women, the situation is slightly different, for instance, she decides five minutes in that the relationship has absolutely no future and you’re not worth her time (ouch). There isn’t a clear consensus on this as of yet, but most experts agree that if she insists to pay for half of the tab, it’s a clear indication that things didn’t go well and you’re not open for a second date.