What To Do When You Want Your Ex Back

want my ex back
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Reigniting a lost flame is one of life’s most common, endless pursuits. It’s something nearly everyone gets themselves doing at one point or another, and if you’re reading this, you probably got yourself in that conundrum right now. It’s completely normal to fantasize the past, but how you handle your desires is what matters the most in the end.

However, unless you’re willing to go out of your way to make plenty of sacrifices to solve the problems that caused the breakup in the first place, reuniting should be completely out of the picture.

To finally settle on a decision on whether you want them back or not, here are a few crucial questions you should ask yourself first.

1) What caused the breakup?

breakup in relation

People break up for all sorts of reasons, some legitimate, others just mind-bogglingly insane – from affairs to physical and emotional distance, perhaps even abuse, to the simple loss of the initial flames. Everyone has their reasons, and they are reasons they have to live with their whole lives.

Do you really want to go back to it? Are you ready to deal with the problem that was originally tabled? Think about whatever reason led to your breakup and if it’s something you can bring yourself to get over and live with since there’s no guarantee that it won’t happen again.

2) Why do you want to get back together?

get together man and woman

What forces are driving you to your decision? Is because of outside pressure from your kids or family is? Remember that this is your decision, something you’re going to have to live with, not your parents nor friends.

Ask yourself this simple question, do you really still love them or are you simply worried about the finer issues like a smaller income or being lonely? Would you get back into the relationship if everything else in your life was completely in place?.

If the answer to any of the latter questions is no, you probably don’t want him, back. You just need to be in a relationship

3) Put all the cards out on the table

put card on the table

If your relationship was bad right from the start, chances already were that you were going to break up for some reason that’s impossible to get your head around, but that’s usually just the last straw, not the real problem.

If you feel sad because you really did end it over something as trivial as a forgotten birthday, ask this crucial question – ‘Why did you really break up?’ Chances are, the problem was rooted farther inside the relationship than a simple slip-up

4) Is the problem chronic?

serious problem
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Is he/she perpetual liar? A serial adulterer? Do they simply have no control of their anger and no matter what you do there’s just no helping them? Have you given them a second chance before and they already betrayed you?

If the answer to any of the above questions, or any like it is yes, chances are they are never going to change and the effort really isn’t worth your time. No matter what they say, pack your bags and leave.

5) Can you absolutely forgive them?

please forgive me
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If you’re completely certain that they’ve changed and you can trust them, are you willing to forgive them for whatever they did? Did they apologies and mean it? That’s really up to you to decide.

 

7 Steps On How To Save A Relationship

spouse relationshipRelationships are just like any other living creature, they are born and they need to be nurtured then they grow up and become stable and mature in nature, but they still need to be taken care of and fed all the time. When this doesn’t happen, a relationship could fall ill and even die. In this article we describe the 7 steps on how to save a relationship.

1)  Is your relationship worth saving?

Ask if your relationship is worth saving? Some people think that they should be left in a bad relationship because of the children while they get very hurt being raised up between 2 parents who hate each other. You should make sure that your relationship is worth saving on its own.

2) Make the commitment

Once you have decided to save your relationship, you must make the commitment. It is going to be hard work and effort. You need to give it the time and the effort. Take time off and plan to have a talk with your partner.

3) Understand the core problem

understand the core problemMany people misunderstand the problem that their relationship is facing. Instead, they get trapped in dealing with the symptoms. Having an affair or a spouse who spends time watching porn is not the real core of the problem, but could the symptom of the lack of intimacy. A spouse, who is keeping secrets and doesn’t communicate, could be someone who doesn’t trust their partner. Dealing with the main problem is the main key to save your relationship.

4) Ask yourself if you are doing it wrong

Have you grown distant and less caring? Maybe you used to remember what your spouse used to like but not anymore. Are you paying attention to your spouse’s needs? Are you listening to them even when they are not speaking? Being in a real relationship doesn’t mean that you take the other partner for granted.

5) Give it the time

Make sure that you devote the time to talk to your partner about your relationship. Make sure that you are both comfortable and relaxed to talk openly. Hold your partner’s hand and show them that you are willing to reconnect.

6) Show that you understand

It takes two to tango, so if you are under the impression or planning to imply that everything is your spouse’s problem, then you are way off finding a solution for your problems. Show appreciation and make them feel that you understand what they do. Some husbands feel frustrated that their wives are giving their full attention to children while wives feel that all the kids’ issues are draining them. It is very important to show your spouse that what they do is highly appreciated and that they are good enough.

7) Understand that it is not all rainbows and butterflies

rainbows and butterfliesOnce you have decided to sit down to talk to your spouse, you have to know that it is not going to be all laughs and giggles. There will be some tears and tantrums. Remember that you are trying to save your relationship so this means that yours is already in a bad situation. If you have decided that your relationship is worth saving, then you should give it all the effort needed.